For the past 25 years, Ann King has been an incredible Executive Director. Ann received her Masters in Social Work and Administration from San Diego State University in 1985. She went on to direct a domestic violence services program and then a drop-in center for unhoused individuals, both in San Diego, California. Ann King then went on to lead Tri-Valley Haven with compassion, determination, skill and a unique vision from the years of 1997 – 2022.  Her professional career has been devoted to eliminating violence against women and children, serving survivors and ending poverty.

I cannot possibly describe all the things Ann King has done for Tri-Valley Haven in a few short paragraphs. I can however share several anecdotes that reflect the kind of leader that Ann was.

The first occurred in 2001 when Tri-Valley Haven was approached by the City of Livermore to potentially provide homeless services. These services included an emergency homeless shelter for individuals and families and a busy Food Pantry. The need for direct homeless services was increasing in the Tri-Valley. At the time, Tri-Valley Haven was known as an agency that offered exceptional domestic violence and sexual assault services to survivors. Back then, many staff and community members publicly questioned whether Tri-Valley Haven should take on “homeless services” and run a new emergency shelter. Despite the criticism and doubt, Ann remained steadfast to our organization’s mission, creating safe homes. She believed that providing shelter and healthy food to families and individuals was in complete alignment with the Haven’s vision to establish secure, healthy homes. Twenty years on, thousands of individuals have been successfully helped through Tri-Valley Haven’s homeless services. Today, we cannot imagine not running these vital shelter and food pantry services. It took a lot of leadership, compassion, and vision from Ms. King to get us here.

There were similar detractors, both inside and outside of the organization, when Ann suggested opening Tri-Valley Haven’s Thrift Store. The vision for the Haven’s thrift store came from Ann years before it became a reality. Some Haven supporters worried that the store wouldn’t bring in sufficient income, or donations for that matter. Despite this, Ann followed her instincts. She visited successful thrift shops in the area and learned from them what worked and what did not. Today, ten years after Tri-Valley Haven’s Thrift Store opened, the shop greatly helps to fund our homeless services. In addition, Tri-Valley Haven’s shelter residents shop there for free, picking up clothing and housing items in a dignified and empowered manner.

Ann has led Tri-Valley Haven through recessions, economic downturns and significant cuts in government grant funding. Throughout all, she kept the agency thriving. During the Great Recession in 2008 and 2009, Tri-Valley Haven experienced significant funding cuts. At the same time, the need for shelter, food and counseling services in the community skyrocketed. Numerous nonprofits laid off employees; Many case managers, counselors and advocates lost their jobs.  Due to Ann’s leadership, no one at Tri-Valley Haven was let go. Instead, employees reduced their hours by 10% and managers cut their hours by 20%. When the economy rebounded a year later, employees had their hours restored. This strategy saved jobs, and increased morale. Everyone felt safer; The agency hadn’t sacrificed a single employee to balance the budget.

Ann King will be missed. 

She was a great leader and a mentor who wasn’t afraid to be the only person to stand up for what was right. Well, perhaps she was afraid, but she did it anyway. In one instance, Ann took a stand against a large government institution to protect the confidentiality of Tri-Valley Haven’s most vulnerable clients. In the end, many people sided with Ann’s stance, but initially she had no idea how it would turn out.

Ann was also a fierce advocate for diversity and equity. She began the Partners in Equity (PIE) Committee. This staff led committee focuses on promoting equity and inclusion within Tri-Valley Haven and the greater Tri-Valley community. The PIE Committee is a thriving work group today.

In closing, please join me in thanking Ann for her vision and her influence. They live on at Tri-Valley Haven. Together, we continue to build a community free from violence, abuse and poverty.

Sincerely,

Christine Dillman, Executive Director
Tri-Valley Haven

What is a Support Group?

Support groups provide a safe space for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault to share their experiences and connect with each other. Tri-Valley Haven’s support groups usually run 8 weeks and they are closed groups (meaning participants must sign up for the group in advance). New participants are only accepted at the start of each support group.

What are the benefits of a Support Group?

Many survivors feel they are alone, so support groups give survivors an opportunity to connect with others who have also experienced domestic violence or sexual assault. Often survivors are relieved to have a safe, confidential space where they can talk about the abuse or assault.
Our support groups also aim to support survivors as they begin the healing process and give them tools to help them along the way. We also focus on helping participants to develop healthy coping skills and practice self-care.

Who facilitates a Support Group?

Our support groups are facilitated by therapists or crisis counselors who have received special training to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through Tri-Valley Haven.

What Support Groups are offered by Tri-Valley Haven?

Domestic Violence Support Group in Pleasanton

Sexual Assault Support Group in Livermore

I am a loved one of a survivor. Can I attend a support group at Tri-Valley Haven?

Currently, we only offer support groups for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault. However both survivors and loved ones may receive individual counseling at Tri-Valley Haven.Assault Support Group in Livermore.

Do you offer support groups for LGBTQ survivors?

Our support groups are open to LGBTQ women, though currently we do not offer separate support groups for only LGBTQ survivors. If there is enough interest, we may offer one in the future.

Do you offer support groups for men?

Currently we only offer support groups for women. We hope to offer groups for male survivors in the future. If you are a male survivor and would be interested in a support group, please let our counseling department know!

How can I join a support group or find out more?

If you would like more information or are interested in one of our support groups, please call:

Tri-Valley Haven Community Building: 925.449.5845

These are some of the comments we received from ninth-graders after our Healthy Relationships and Bullying Prevention presentations at Foothill High School and Amador High School in Pleasanton this semester. During the school year, I visit local middle schools and high schools to talk to teens about healthy relationships, teen dating violence and bullying in an age-appropriate way. At the end of each presentation, I hand out surveys to see how effective our presentations are and get anonymous feedback from the students.

Recently we lost all federal and state funding for our youth education programs due to a cut in California funding. As a result, we’ve had to trim many of our presentations down from 2-day classes to 1-day condensed classes in Livermore and Dublin schools. Fortunately, the Pleasanton Youth Commission has continued to fund our Prevention Education program. Thanks to their generosity, we are able to continue providing 2-day presentations to health classes at Pleasanton schools.

During our full 2-day presentations, we have the opportunity to do more activities with the students to get them talking to each other about dating violence and bullying. One of our most popular activities is called “What Would You Do?” During this activity, we read out different scenarios about dating violence or bullying. Then we ask students move to different corners of the room depending on whether they would do nothing (no intervention), step in on their own (primary intervention) or get help (secondary intervention).

After students have the opportunity to share what they might do, our presenters may “change up” the scenarios. If the scenario is about bullying, we might ask some follow-up questions, such as, “What if the student being bullied is your friend?” or “What if the bullying was happening online? Would that change how you intervene?”

Wow, does this activity get teens talking!

Whether we’re talking about dating violence or bullying, each student brings their own unique perspective into the conversation. Sometimes students disagree with their classmates’ suggestions for intervention; other times the entire class ends up standing the same corner of the room.

In one class at Amador, I asked students what they might do if they witnessed a guy violently shove a girl to the ground on their way to class. Many of the guys in the class said they would step in and confront the guy. But several of the girls said they would feel more comfortable getting help from a trusted adult or friend. These girls mentioned that they would be afraid of getting hurt if they tried to confront a male student.

Then I told students to imagine the same scenario but with one detail changed: “What would you do if you say a girl shove a guy to the ground?”

Almost every girl said they would feel comfortable talking to the abusive student (in this scenario, another girl) by themselves. Only two guys said they would still say something. Instead nearly all of the guys said they would be hesitant to intervene. When I asked why, many of them said they wouldn’t know what to say or do in this situation. One student even admitted, “I’ve never heard of this happening to guys.”

This sparked a discussion between the students about assumptions or expectations we might have about who can or cannot be a victim of violence. Many of the students have been encouraged to take a stand against bullying in the past. But often our presentations are the first time students have had the chance to discuss what intervening might actually entail. As presenters, we encourage students to think of intervening indirectly, such as asking for help from a teacher or friend, as well as being assertive.

During this particular conversation, one of the guys mentioned that he would be worried about embarrassing the victim (another guys) if he told the abusive girl to stop. So we discussed other ways he might intervene, such as getting help from a teacher so he didn’t have to directly intervene or checking in with the male student in private after the incident.

One of the girls who said they felt comfortable intervening even suggested, “You could always ask one of us to help.”

There are many ways students can safely intervene when they see dating violence or bullying happen at their school. It’s just a matter of getting students to consider their options.

upport groups provide a safe space for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault to share their experiences and connect with each other. Tri-Valley Haven’s support groups usually run 8 weeks and they are closed groups (meaning participants must sign up for the group in advance). New participants are only accepted at the start of each support group.